
I want to begin by acknowledging the strength of the women I am fortunate to know and love, women who inspire me daily and who have shown me, again and again, how to take up space and use my voice. I am constantly struck by how seamlessly they navigate multiple, often competing, roles in life.
I grew up surrounded by remarkable women. I watched my grandmother and mother move between roles with apparent ease, being everything a given moment required. I watched them be brave when bravery was difficult, become quick problem solvers under pressure, and offer honest, sometimes unwanted, advice and guidance. I leaned on them more times than I can count, and they listened every time. I saw their capacity for care in full force, more times than I could ever properly acknowledge.
Women, like these women, have long played a central role in society, providing stability and driving progress. They have fought hard for the opportunity simply to participate fully and freely in society, against a long history of gender inequality and oppression. That fight has never come at the expense of their families; the evidence shows they have consistently carried both, caring for home while fighting to be heard. It is a testament to real inner strength and resilience.
Given the scale of that contribution, one might expect women to be consistently valued and protected. Instead, many continue to face violence, disproportionately at the hands of men. This is a difficult thing to say plainly, but it is a well documented reality, not an accusation aimed at any individual. Many societies remain shaped by patriarchal structures that, even while claiming to respect women, have historically treated them as secondary. True strength, though, is harder to find than the kind our culture usually celebrates. It exists in a woman protecting her children under difficult circumstances, or navigating an unsafe relationship while trying to keep her family together. The use of force against another person is, if anything, a sign of weakness rather than strength.
Violence against women has a long history, and it is worth examining honestly rather than looking away from it. Ideas about manhood have often been built around dominance and provision, which makes the notion of women as somehow inferior, even within traditional household roles, difficult to justify on its own terms.
Violence against women is a hidden crisis with no geographic or cultural limits. Across the globe, inequality persists, and all too often, blame is shifted onto the woman rather than held by the person responsible for the harm. Roughly one in three women worldwide will experience physical or sexual violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime, and fewer than four in ten women who experience this kind of violence seek help. That gap reflects a wider social failure: a system that has too often blamed survivors rather than supported them, leaving many afraid to come forward at all.
Shifting gender roles have understandably unsettled some long-held ideas about masculinity, and in some cases, this has been met with an assertion of control through force rather than adaptation. Rigid expectations, that women must be submissive, obedient, and non-confrontational, have further entrenched violence as a means of maintaining control in some communities. Restrictive views about how women should dress or behave, often used to explain away male behaviour, place responsibility in the wrong place entirely; a person’s safety should never depend on their clothing.
Poverty compounds the issue considerably. Many women remain financially dependent on an abusive partner, which can trap them in an impossible choice between ongoing harm and the risk of losing their home or income. This kind of trauma can shape how a person relates to others and to themselves for years afterwards, sometimes influencing the kinds of relationships they find familiar later in life. Similarly, men who grow up witnessing or experiencing family violence are statistically more likely to repeat these patterns in adulthood, a cycle often summarised as “hurt people hurt people.”
The damage caused by violence reaches well beyond physical injury. The psychological and emotional impact can be lasting, increasing the risk of depression, post-traumatic stress, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. In severe, unaddressed cases, this can extend to self-harm or suicidal thoughts. Many survivors turn to alcohol or other substances as a way of coping with intrusive memories, while others develop disordered patterns around food as they search for a sense of control amid circumstances that otherwise feel entirely out of their hands.
In communities where access to support services is limited, particularly in disadvantaged or under-resourced areas, the barriers to recovery are even greater. Addressing this issue requires a combination of prevention, accessible response services, and meaningful policy reform. Governments need to prioritise funding for shelters, non-profit organisations, and mental health services that specifically support survivors of gender-based violence, alongside genuine economic opportunity that allows women to leave unsafe situations without risking homelessness. Prevention also depends on education. Comprehensive programmes on relationships and consent, introduced early enough to shape attitudes before they calcify, give young people the tools to recognise and reject harmful patterns before they take root. Where harm has already occurred, survivors need a justice system that treats them with care rather than suspicion. Faster, trauma-informed processes, along with better training for police and courts in recognising the subtler dynamics of coercive control, can be the difference between a survivor reporting abuse and a survivor giving up.
This is a matter that concerns entire communities, not only women. Men who wish to be seen as different from those who cause harm need to demonstrate that difference clearly, including by speaking up when they witness harmful behaviour in other men. Addressing gender-based violence effectively requires individuals, families, communities, and governments working in genuine partnership.
If you or someone you know is affected by domestic or gender-based violence, please reach out to a local support service, a registered counsellor, or emergency services. You do not have to navigate this alone.
Mind Over Matter.
Disclaimer: This article is shared for general psychoeducational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute professional psychological, medical, or counselling advice, and is not a substitute for assessment, diagnosis, or treatment by a qualified mental health professional. If anything in this article raises concerns about your own wellbeing or that of someone you know, please reach out to a registered counsellor, psychologist, or your local emergency and crisis services.Where personal experiences are shared, names and identifying details have been omitted or changed to protect the privacy of those involved.

There is another side to the argument/discussion that is rarely raised and one I experienced, as did my son, on violent women.
It goes without saying women cop more abuse at the hands of men yet does this provide an excuse for violent women?
My body is laced with scars from over a decade of domestic violence at the hands of a violent woman. My son has severe developmental problems from the abuse he endured from the same during his formative years. I learnt early on in this story to keep my mouth shut and to cop whatever came my way as the world considered me to be the bastard in my story regardless of facts which took 15 painful years to be uncovered. In the meantime an innocent life was altered for the worse as he experienced abuse and neglect that no life should, being my son.
We are invisible and ignored in the belief that only men are violent and yet reality intrudes on doctrine time and again. Maternal abuse is significantly worse on children than paternal abuse.
Yet we have almost zero support, almost zero acknowledgement, almost zero acceptance. How is this a fair and equitable society?
We both endure vilification, discrimination and exclusion at the hands of society and authorities who decided we must be the villians regardless of one of the victims being a defenceless child. Explain if you will how this can be considered equility or anything else as it is nothing more than rank discrimination supported by a popular view that only sees one side.
We both were within minutes of killing ourselves by stepping infront of a truck on a freeway as the maths worked in our favour on not surviving such an impact, if not for the intervention of people who owed us nothing I would not be able to give my side of the story.
Frankly men do not count in the modern narrative as we are all just violent, evil scum and that is promoted and reinforced in the popular narrative while we suffer and die as a result.
Violence is violence, and evil is evil and genitalia has little to do with it.
Just saying!
Thank you for sharing something this painful. What you and your son went through is real, and I am sorry you carried it largely alone and unsupported for so long. No one should have to reach the point you both did, and I am glad you are still here to tell this story.
You are right that this side of the conversation is rarely raised, and that silence causes real harm. Men who experience abuse at the hands of women face a particular kind of invisibility. There is social stigma around masculinity, a fear of not being believed, and very few services set up with them in mind. That gap in support and acknowledgement is a genuine injustice, and your son deserves acknowledgement too, since he was an innocent bystander in all of this.
I want to be clear that I do not condone violence from any gender, and I believe support services should exist for men and children experiencing abuse, not only women. Violence is violence, and the harm it causes does not depend on who caused it.
My own focus is on violence against women, partly because it is the area I have researched and worked in, and partly because of how widespread and normalised it remains globally. That focus is not meant to suggest other forms of abuse matter less, or that suffering can be ranked. Your story matters, and it deserves attention and support in its own right.
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